Friday, March 7, 2025

During I Said This, You Heard That we’ve learned all about how our words have the power to speak life, hope, joy, and love…or sow fear, division, unrest, and conflict. Communication is about expressing our ideas, wishes, or desires to someone and really, it’s the key to the “one anothering” the New Testament writers talk about again and again. You know the parts - love one another, honor one another, live in peace with one another and more. But often, miscommunications happen and cause problems that lead to us doing the opposite of these things.

Now we know - it’s not just about what is SAID… it’s all about what is HEARD.

So as followers of Christ, how do you use your words to love other people? It’s all captured in our guiding verse, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29. Paul wrote this letter to the church in Ephesus and in one sentence flips the communication script! What if, instead of communicating according to your needs, you first took into account the needs of others and adapted your words accordingly?

As we’ve learned, basically everyone defaults to one of the four communication temperaments:

• YELLOW: Speaks the language of people and fun!
• RED: Speaks the language of power and control.
• BLUE: Speaks the language of perfection and order.
• GREEN: Speaks the language of calm and harmony.

So how do we use words that take the needs of other people into consideration:

1) Consider the color of the person you are speaking to. Even if it’s just a guess, the colors are pretty easy to identify and try using the words you know will build them up. The more you understand the needs and temperaments of the those around you, the more you can put Ephesians 4:29 into practice in your everyday life! 

2) Consider the color of the person who is speaking to you. Every word and behavior is motivated by core needs…take the time to understand how they speak so that you can understand why their words, tone and style are different from yours.

3) Every Word You Use is a Word You Choose. Remember, the tongue holds the power of life and death. So, start taking a pause to think before you say a word. Give grace to understand the person you’re communicating with may be different from you and celebrate the difference! Understanding the communication strengths and weaknesses of those around you helps you communicate with humility.

As Christ followers, the colors are simply a tool to help us recognize and honor differences, humble ourselves to the way others speak and experience the world, and then choose to speak in such a way that it benefits the other person. That not only changes us, but it can change every relationship we have for the better.