Saturday, February 14, 2026

Our kids were made with purpose.  

Yet as they grow, our kids may start to realize they don’t like how they are made. Maybe they don’t like the fact that they are smaller or less skilled in athletics. Or maybe they’ve been made fun of because of their appearance or personality. It’s hard to like how you are made when someone makes fun of you. Or it’s hard to talk about how they are made, because quite frankly you don’t like who your child is becoming these days (hello, 14 year olds). 

But noticing and commenting on how they are made is crucial to their confidence. They need to know that they were made on purpose. They need to know that they have value apart from anything external—that they have value simply because they were made. 

How can we build confidence in our kids about how they were made? 

1. Pay attention. 

Go out of your way to be a noticer. Pay attention to how your child was made and take note of it. It’s easy to see all the ways your child needs to improve. But it’s not so easy to notice all the good (especially if that child pushes all your buttons.) Instead of being annoyed that she literally stops to smell the flowers, pay attention to the fact that she was created to notice the beauty in the ordinary. Or notice how she loves people, which is why she wants to talk to every person she passes. Practice being a student of your child—not for the purpose of seeing what needs to improve, but for the purpose of seeing the unique ways your child was made on purpose. 

2. Say it out loud. 

After you have noticed how your child was made, share it. It could be as simple as, “I love your smile.” “Thanks for being so helpful.” “You are so strong to endure running 3 miles in PE.” If this feels forced to you, think about what you wish someone would notice about you. And then, use that to help you speak affirming words over your child. 

Dr. Deborah Tillman, America’s Super Nanny, recently said on the Surviving Sarah podcast that every night she would sit down with her son at bedtime and say to him, “I see greatness in you.” Then, she would speak something specific to him and then ask him to say one great thing about himself. That is powerful! How much more confidence would your child (or even yourself) have if they heard every night that there is something great in how they were made? 

3. Say it often. 

Research has shown that for every 1 positive word we hear 5 negative words. We are quite literally starved of positive affirmation. So, commit to saying something positive about how your child was made every day. Maybe it’s every morning before they leave for school. Or maybe you could leave a note in their lunchbox or on the dashboard of their car or on their bathroom mirror. 

Pay attention. Say it out loud and often. Doing that will build confidence in your kids that they were made on purpose and for a purpose. And along the way, it will change your perspective towards your kids. You’ll find that you notice the good things more than the things that need improvement. We can parent with purpose!  

By Sarah Bragg of Parent Cue; with modifications.