Friday, May 24, 2024

Last week, we explored how Jesus’ Parable of the Soils relates to our challenges with building friendships. This week, we’ll look at the final two soils in the story: the thorny soil, and the good soil.

The Thorny Soil

Matthew 13:7
Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants.

Unfortunately, feelings of loneliness often continue even when we’re surrounded by people. We wish for the types of friendships we see in our favorite TV shows, movies, and books—where we can be vulnerable about life and always have each other’s backs.

The problem is that busyness creeps in and chokes out our relationships. Life gets crazy, and before we know it, we back out of plans, forget to respond to messages, and put up facades instead of taking the time to go deep. We don’t mean to neglect other people, but without intentionality, we never cultivate the deep connection we crave.

Research shows that it takes ninety hours for someone to become a good friend and two-hundred-plus hours to become a best friend. It takes deliberate investment in the friendship and sacrifice of your time in order to reach this.

The best way to deepen friendships is to share experiences—not just get coffee every once and a while. Some ideas you could start with are:

Take a day trip together

Invite the other person over for a board game night

Attend a conference or convention together

Start a group based around a mutual hobby

Volunteer together

Organize an event together

The Good Soil

Matthew 13:8
Other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!

I can’t think of a better metaphor for life-giving friendships than a seed that yields a harvest a hundred times greater than what was initially planted. Friendships bless us with encouragement, accountability, and support.

But we breeze through the few verses of the parable and forget that the harvest is not immediate. It comes after a time of planting and tending—a time of waiting.

Keep identifying your false beliefs, putting in the hours, and investing in relationships. There are steps you can take to foster connection. And if sixty-one percent of young adults feel alone, then in a group of ten, six people are probably hoping you’ll reach out to them.

So go plant some seeds.

Note: A version of this article was first published on TheRebelution.com.